Throwback Review: Bikini Girls on Ice Brings Nothing New, but Isn’t Horrible

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When a bus-load of womens college soccer players get stranded on their way to a bikini car-wash fundraiser, they decide to set-up shop in front of an abandoned gas station on the edge of town. Little do they know the place is the stalking-grounds for a homicidal maniac mechanic named Moe. (Synopsis from horrornews.net)

With a title like Bikini Girls on Ice, every horror fan would have certain expectations for this movie, discounting the obvious (girls in bikinis). Fans of the genre would expect a non-existent plot with tons of overacting and plenty of gratuitous nudity. In all honesty, while the movie did contain portions of both, overall the movie wasn’t that bad. While the film did not offer up anything new to the genre or for the fans, it does entertain on a very basic level and does provide the promised eye candy for the viewers.

A group of college co-eds are on their way to a bikini car wash fundraiser when their bus breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The trip and transportation have been organized by your typical dorky guy who is hoping to get with one of the girls. The driver of the bus is the male version of eye candy. The co-eds are lead by the typcial ubber-bitchy girl that is so often depicted in horror movies. Once the group realizes that the bus won’t be fixed (by the driver) for hours, they decide to have their car wash where they are, an abandoned gas station. Things seem to be working themselves out and bikini girls come and go until the town crazy pulls up and warns them of people disappearing. The girls and the two guys find themselves the prey of a homicidal maniac that collects bikinis’ and keeps the bodies on ice until he can have some alone time with them.

All in all, the movie wasn’t bad. The largest problems for me was the lackluster kill scenes. Each kill revolved around the same method: A tall, psychopath wearing boots would sneak up behind his victims and kill them. The way it was done made Moe (the killer) seem like ninja car mechanice. There was never an indication that he made a sound except after his kill where Moe (William Jarand) would spend his time grunting and cocking his head like a dog. Moe just shows up and kills, no back story, no motivation. The kills themselves mostly occurred off-screen with a minimal amount of blood, so gorehounds will not be entertained.

Make no mistake, this is definitely a B-rated movie with some of the typical B movie flaws: wooden acting, plot holes (3 of the bikini wearing co-eds just walk back to town and that ‘s the end of their story. Why is the killer killing? The film as has the regretable trend of introducing plot points that are never explained.

The filming itself looks really good. With a majority of the film being shot inside or around an abandoned gas station, the director (Geoff Klein) knew how to use the location to advantage. There were some very impressive creepy shots utilizing lights and darks that definitely helped provide a feel of dread.

With a title like Bikini Girls on Ice, you should expect that the film contains a plethora of screentime of the co-eds in bikinis and washing cars. There is a surprising minimal amount of nudity in the film which saves it from total B-rated status. It also helps that the girls aren’t completely vapid or annoying. Granted a few of them are, but at least there is some entertainment to be had. The ladies are beautiful, were (on the most part) solid actresses, and spend the majority of the time in little bikinis.

Overall, I’d give this movie a recommend. It brings nothing new to the fewer or to the genre, but it is still an entertaining watch.

Take a look at two of the trailers here:

 

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